They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
