If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
