physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
