he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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