You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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