Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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