Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
