i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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