I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
