If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
