Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
