Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
