You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
