No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
