sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
