wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
