he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize