So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
