Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize