She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
