finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
