roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize