i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
