Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize