I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
