I molested 6 butterflies tonight
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
