and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize