I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
