Define "chronic" masturbator.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
