My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
