I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He keeps bees of course he's weird
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
