lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
this will be a night to untag.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
