SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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