i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
