come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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