Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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