I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
