Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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