I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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