I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
