Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
