I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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