Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
