Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
