I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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