That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
