Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
