those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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