What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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