I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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