dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
