I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
