Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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