Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
