Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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