I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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