my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
where are my eyebrows?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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