we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All the doctor said was why
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
