Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is my gift to your gina
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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