Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Boobs are out for the taking
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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