Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
