he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
