I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You know, be my cock's hype man.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
FUCK WHALES
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
