drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
