He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I am morally bankrupt
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
