After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
