she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
