At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
