He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My liver just had a heart attack.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
