They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
