Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
