Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize