Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
