If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
