White coat. Heels.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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