Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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