Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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