i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
